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ARGUMENT FROM APOLOGETICS WEBPAGES (1) I was surfing the Net and came across this really cool webpage of apologetics.
BILL O'REILLY'S ARGUMENT (I) (1) Atheism is challenging this country's Christian roots! (3) We will make a big stink about this, and not let atheists win! (2) I mean it's so horrible, pointless, brutal and nasty.
ARGUMENT FROM FALWELL (1) Jerry Falwell said some really stupid things after September 11th.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about theism but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that. (3) But that's because they don't want to admit to being sinners. (2) But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in front of my Christian apologist peers. (2) But they only say that because they want to look cool and intellectual in front of their peers. (4) This just goes to show how they need God in their lives. ARGUMENT FROM DENIAL OF QUENTIN SMITH (1) Quentin Smith says that God does not exist. (3) Therefore, Quentin Smith cannot be accepted as an expert on the matter, because he is wrong. KENT HOVIND'S ARGUMENT (1) I don't want to work for a living. (3) I can get gullible fundamentalists to send me money. ARGUMENT FROM KENT HOVIND'S CHALLENGE (1) Kent Hovind offers 0,000 (which may or may not exist) to anyone who can demonstrate evolution (defined as a natural, acausal origin of the universe) to a reasonable doubt (meaning with 100% certainty, allowing for no other possibilities whatsoever) in front of a neutral committee (handpicked by Hovind himself) and according to certain criteria (carefully worded so as to rule out any possibility whatsoever of the challenge ever being met).
(2) Also, our youth group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TONGUES (1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish that sounded to me kind of like Russian. (3) [Throws watch into forest.] (4) Therefore, God exists. (3) This something else must be God because I can't come up with a better explanation. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING (1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God.
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well? (2) [Insert any of the other arguments on this page in here.] (3) [Atheist refutes argument.] (4) I cannot prove there is a God any more than anyone of us can prove we really exist in a tangible world. (3) If the existence of God is proven, then God exists. RANDMANS ARGUMENT (1) This entry from the 1975 World Book Encyclopedia on evolution contains some errors that I claim to have already substantiated. ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT (1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that. (2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer. (2) I don't understand how X could be, without something else (that I don't really understand either) making or doing X. (3) Osiris, Mithra, Ishtar, Hercules, Horus, Perseus, Bacchus, Tammuz, Hermes, and Prometheus? (2) I also think that guy called Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.
ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP (1) I went to a party and took LSD.
They said some things that kind of sounded like Christian statements. ARGUMENT FROM MOUNTAINS (1) People used to think gods lived on Mt.