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She points out that the topic of what youre looking for in a relationship often comes up during the early stages of dating, and that can provide an opening to say something like, You should know that Im not very interested in sex.

Sex is an expected component of dating these days, she says.

They may like to cuddle and be physically close to others. (In Bogaerts study, 33 percent of asexuals were currently married or living with a partner.) When it works, its not about the sex youre not having, its about all the other things you share together, says David Jay, 22, whos known he was asexual since his early teens.

The challenge, of course, is finding a partner who either has a similar lack of interest in sex or can compromise.

Of the studys more than 18,000 participants, one percent said they agreed with the statement, I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all.

As with any sexual orientation, whats considered asexual ranges widely, and theres a huge variety in the experiences of people who identify as asexual.

It was absolutely liberating, like bells ringing and doors opening, she says.

I felt like going up to everybody and saying, Theres a word for me!

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To do so, sit down in a calm moment, outside the bedroom, Tessina says.

The biggest misconceptions are that something bad happened to make us this way, and that we can be fixed, or even want to be fixed, Morgan says.

A recent study suggests that asexuality may be surprisingly common.

Neither one of you can bend all the way to one extreme.

Only the two of you can decide what the right compromise is for you.

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