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We then recognise that the solution isn’t to ‘game’ the traffic or ‘love’ it into not running us down with our superhuman efforts – it’s to stop walking into oncoming traffic period, assess the risk, and use a pedestrian crossing or wait till the road is clear.I experienced this when I’d spent a few months No Contact and then decided to Suck It and See with my ex.I’d shifted, but I hadn’t reached my tipping point and in fairness, while I’m not saying it’s a ‘solution’, my One Last Eff Up did the trick and I never regressed.Another example is one of the most common difficulties that readers experience – trying to stay friends with their ex.Instead of learning the core lesson, we, for example think that we should try to go out in front of the oncoming traffic, albeit quicker or that we should wear protective gear, or that we should move further up that road and then try to walk out again into the oncoming traffic.Eventually we learn that if we walk out into oncoming traffic, we will very likely get run down and get busted up pretty badly.

The more intertwined you were with your ex, or cloaked in your pattern and denial you were, and the less boundaries that you had, is the harder it will be.You should be saying same that still feels an affinity with this person and the relationship?’ If you can have that honest conversation with yourself, you won’t go back to a dodge situation blind and with bullshit excuses. Instead, you probably won’t go back at all or you’ll Suck It and See with eyes wide and a willingness to opt out.We think that we can keep them around us on lesser terms, that they’ll be respectful, or maybe even recognise our fabulousness and come grovelling.When we get hurt, we lament their insensitivity or inappropriateness.

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